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Todays lesson is: Don't ask a question if you're not ready for the answer.

This applies in two ways. One, if you ask a question, pause your talking long enough to hear an answer. Two, if you ask a question that requires I give you information to write down or type, have your keyboard/paper ... READY.

That's all for today.

Labels: be ready, call centers, calling, instructions, listen, listening, phone, phone support, question, support, tech, technical, technical support

You don't have the most current version. Why do you say that if you don't really know?


Ok, so today... today I'm talking to a customer. It's way too early in the morning. I have a headache and the customer didn't help. So I ask him: "What version of -this product- do you have on your system?"


He answers, "I have the latest version. Version 5.0.5.366...." Then he proceeds to talk and talk and talk. It takes him 5 minutes to pause long enough for me to say anything. Come on!


So finally, I can say something, but it's not important right now to tell him that he's an idiot and has like, 4 versions back. No sir. You do not have the most current version. Not by a long shot.


The worst part about this is that this is a common issue. Many many people do exactly the same thing. I can't believe they have the gall to call and not have the information they need ready. Or in the very least, be willing to say they don't know.
I much prefer to hear..."I don't know" and have the customer be willing and ready to find out then the "I have the latest version..." while not actually knowing they do for sure, without even knowing what version they actually have!!

Labels: call centers, calling, calling back, listen, listening, phone, phone support, question, questions, support, tech, technical, technical support, wrong product

A friend of mine pointed this out from Craigslist, Best of, and it fit so well with my theme here I had to post it. This is awesome funny. Kudos to whoever wrote it.
((Note: this is an exact copy, it includes the links back to craigslist.com and the posting number))


best of craigslist > pittsburgh > Things to consider when calling Tech Support...

Originally Posted: Fri, 27 Apr 23:38 EDT

Things to consider when calling Tech Support...
Date: 2007-04-27, 11:38PM EDT


Hi! I'm your Technical Support Rep. I have a considerable amount of control over one or more important aspects of your daily life: television, telephone, and internet. Sometimes one, sometimes all three. Before we interact, I'd like to share some thoughts with you:



* I am here, simply put, to fix your shit. My job is not complete until said shit is fixed. Please just help me fix this shit.

* With that out of the way, know that I hate you exactly as much as you hate me. No more, no less. If you are at least relatively pleasant, I'm happy to help you- even to make small talk as I attend to the issue at hand. Conversely, if you are a total and complete jackass, I will make this the worst 10 minutes of your week.

* Neither I, nor any of my coworkers, are out to fuck you. We are not idiots. We are college graduates in technical disciplines, the vast majority of whom are here to work their way up the IT ladder to more fulfilling positions. Sometimes we have off days, sure, but we know EXACTLY what we are doing. Note that this does not apply to anyone outside of our department. They are, in all reality, idiots who are out to fuck you.

* So you've already unplugged the "internet box" and plugged it back in? Brace yourself, you're going to do it again. Most of the time I do this for a reason...unless you're a dick. Then I do it to see how mad it makes you.

* Don't lie to me- I can tell you have a router. It isn't illegal.

* To those who think they are "computer illiterate": The vast majority of the time, you are lovely customers: Patient, willing to learn, and most importantly, willing to listen. Thank you!

* To those who think they are CompSci PHD's: The vast majority of the time, you are retarded: If you already cycled your equipment and it didn't work, why did it work when I made you do it again? If you are so well educated, stay the hell out of the queue so that people who need help can get it.

* Supervisors don't have a magic wand that they can wave to make everything better. They are governed by the same protocol and use the same utilities as I do. In fact, supervisors are more likely to tell you to fuck off- believe it or not, they have other pressing issues to attend to. If a node goes down, they WILL put those 200 subscribers before you in Priorityland.

* Threatening to cancel does not intimidate us. We have an entire department that is paid to care about that, which means that I don't have to. Harsh? Sure, but I have more than enough work to do fixing shit, yelling at field techs, following up on cases, and explaining the concept of email to your grandmother that it won't cause me to lose any sleep.

* It worked fine yesterday? Oh, then I must be wrong. Let me reconsider the 40 minutes I spent troubleshooting your Win98 box. Check it out: Shit breaks (see point 1); If shit did not break, I would be mowing your lawn instead of sitting in this office.

* Speakerphone? Turn it the fuck off.

* Don't call back and have another rep troubleshoot the same problem. He will read the notes I left about how you spilled coke into your cable box. Even if he didn't, he would come to the same conclusion, and more people with undiagnosed problems would be stuck listening to that god-awful hold music.

* I am not blowing smoke when I say that I understand how frustrating it is to wait on hold, get transferred, and deal with bad agents. I too have called Dell's tech support line. The difference is that I actually DO care about your problem, so please just calm down before I kill your family.

* My company has over 20 million subscribers. I handle a region of about 2 million. To this day, none of them have ever called in to say "I just wanted you to know that my shit is working correctly." Maybe someday?



So what can I help you with today?

* Location: Internet
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 320304562

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Labels: call centers, calling, calling back, e-mail, guilt, instructions, listen, listening, method, microsoft, phone, phone support, question, questions, support, technical, technical support

Hi! Sorry it's been awhile. I haven't been here for some time because I've been a little busy. I'm working on a book, and have been making some mini-movies, and of course I have multiple blogs that I log to regularly. So here it is.

Today's advice is:
...you need listening skills. When you call support be prepared to listen. Not just talk. On every call I verify what product the person is calling about, because I support six different products, and there are many more that my company makes. Sometimes the customer isn't paying attention and answers me without thinking, which means that they get 5-10 minutes of each of us not understanding what the other is talking about.

Here's an example:

I say: "Thank you for calling FunCompany my name is Reine. Can I get your name please? "
Customer answers: "Joe Bob"
I say: "Can you tell me what company you're calling from?"
Customer answers: "FunCompany Software for my PC"
I say: "Yes, I understand that you need support for the FunCompany software, but what company do you work for? I need that information for verification..."
Customer answers: "OH! You mean MY company... I'm calling on behalf of ID10T company."
I say: "Thank you. I'm showing here that you are calling about the FunCompany Jumping Bean Software, is that correct?"
Customer answers: "Yes."
I say: "Ok, how can I help you with that?"
Customer answers: "Well, my Magic beans aren't growing a beanstalk."
I say: "Well, our jumping beans don't grow beanstalks."
Customer says: "Well, I bought this FunCompany product and it's not growing beanstalks. I know its supposed to grow beanstalks. I even put it in dirt."
I say: "Are you calling about the FunCompany Jack n' The Beanstalk Software?"
Customer says: "Yeah, that's the product I need help with."
I say: "Well, then you're on the wrong line. Let me transfer you to the FunCompany Jack n' The Beanstalk Software support queue."

........End.

Ok, so that's the end of my example. See what I mean? Had he listened to begin with he would have saved himself alot of time and aggrivation.

Labels: call centers, calling, instructions, listen, listening, phone support, question, questions, tech, technical, technical support, wrong product