I started this blog as a place to vent my frustration with my customers. People who should know how to do everything I do and then some and often do not. I think I'm going to add a series of "How to's" because, well, maybe they don't know these things because they couldn't find them. I've already done one - how to find your Windows Management console and the Services console.

Today I'm going to add another one. This is less of a "How to" and more of a why.

(Get to the point...skip the story)

In the world of software, there has come to be a misunderstanding when products are labeled. If you look on the side/bottom/back of a box for a game or other software you'll see the system requirements. It will advise you that you need x amount of RAM.
As an example: I have the game Guild Wars, and it's system requirement is 512 MB RAM. What this means is that the game requires 512 MB of RAM free. Not total.

When I'm running this game, pretty much everything else is out of the question, because it uses so much of my RAM. I have 512 MB. (I'm getting more SOON) Luckily for me, Windows is usually pretty smart, and keeps enough for itself so that it doesn't crash, and I have a swap file that covers alot too. (I may explain swap files later, who knows...lol ) So overall, the game runs pretty well, but often lags and takes a long long time to load.

As I mentioned before, I do technical support for some mail scanning software, and this mail scanning software requires 1 gig of RAM. If your system doesn't have enough RAM, this mail scanning software will take it. Unfortunately for all other software on the system, except Windows, that means that it could potentially crash your system.

Seeing as most of these systems (well, lets be real here... ALL these systems) are mail servers, the system crashing would be a bad thing.

What these admins need to know is... if you have Program A that requires 1 gig, and Program B that requires 512 mb and Program C that requires 512 - 1 gig (depending on the usage) you should have 1 gig + 512 mb + 1 gig = 2.5 gigs just for the software + 512 (at least) for the Operating system -- All in all this comes to 3 gigs.

If you didn't have 3 gigs in this situation, and these programs are all running at the same time, your system will flop. End of story.

For a normal consumer this isn't a big deal, because they don't tend to run multiple programs at once all the time. On a server, however... well, I think you can see what I'm getting at here.

The moral of the story is:
The amount of RAM required on the outside of the box is the MINIMUM required just to run that program and no other.
The amount of RAM required on the outside of the box is the amount that you must have FREE in order to use it.

Labels: 1 gig, 512 mb, admin, advice, help, how to, mail software, microsoft, ram, requirements, system

The latest news from the The Fun Company Tech support front:

News Flash! Software company removes redundant feature! More at 10'o clock....

So, recently we put out a new version of our software. Lets call it The Bean version 2.0.
It is a piece of software that is run with another program that goes on servers.

In our original software - Jumping Bean v.1 it jumped all on it's own, because the platform we were installed on (called The Table) was flat and unmoving. Recently, The Table was changed to The Trampoline Table and now the jumping component of our Jumping Bean v. 1 is obsolete.

We recently changed the name and removed that functionality, so now it's just "The Bean v2.0". We also have an optional add-on called "SuperJump" that can be purchased at an additional fee.


I had an admin call me yesterday, and this was the basic conversation:



Admin: "So, I found out you took the jump out of the Jumping Bean Software."

Me: "Yes Sir, the regular Jump function no longer exists."

Admin: "I was using that function. Why did you take it out? "

Me: "Well, Sir, because your Table software added the Trampoline function, it does the bouncing now. "

Admin: " I don't like the way my Table software does the bouncing. I want your software to do the bouncing."

Me: "I'm sorry sir, we no longer bounce in this version. But if you like, you can get an extra high bounce by purchasing this add-on called SuperJump .
Or, alternatively, you can uninstall the new The Bean software, and use the old Jumping Bean software instead, or you can also make it jump by hand. "

Admin: "I don't want to pay more. I don't want to make it jump by hand and I don't want to back up to the old version.
I think your company should tell me how to use The Table Trampoline's jump function because you no longer do the jumping."

((Now, remember a few posts back where I gave advice on not asking for advice for a third party program?))

Me: "Mr. Customer, I am not authorized to support the jump feature on your Table Trampoline software. If you would like us to help your beans jump really high, you'll need to get the SuperJump feature in our software."

Admin: "I want you to tell whoever you need to tell that they shouldn't have removed the jump function. I was using that, and it's not fair that you can't tell me how to use the Trampoline function in my Table Trampoline software."


So, this is what happens when software changes. We understand that you are comfortable using the old familiar way. But sometimes that isn't an option. We love that you love our software so much, and we understand that the other guy charges, but that doesn't change the fact that we were doing something that's already being done.

We have a better option, but the better option charges. The reason is because the better option is more of a service, and you get updates every ten minutes. Where before, the option was free, but only getting updates every few months.

Labels: call centers, calling, changes, gone, software, tech, technical, technical support

This morning was a fun morning. I had two calls in a row where I talked to some not so smart people. So today is an instruction lesson. Now, if you get paid more than $60,000 a year to work on a computer, you'd think that you'd know one of the basics of administering said system.



This is how you get to the management console in Windows:

1. Right-click on My Computer
2. Select Manage from the list.

Yay!! That's it. You're there.

Now, here's two ways to find the Services console->

First way:
1. Follow instructions above to get to the management console.
2. Expand "Services and Applications"
(* Left click on the little (+)Plus symbol to it's left to expand)
3. Click Services in the list.

Second way:
1. Click Start -> Run
2. Type Services.msc in the Run window.
3. Hit ENTER or OK

Tada! Now was that so hard?? How could you not know how to do this if you work on computers every day? Well, no more excuses. Now you know.

Labels: admin, how to, instructions, lesson, management console, services.msc, stupid, windows

Labels: atkinson, baby, funny, photoshopped, rowan, rowan atkinson

In case I forget to post before then, I just had to get that out... Now on to today's story:

Frequently I get called because someone isn't able to use their proxy. (We have a proxy that a lot of people use.) Most commonly, the reason it doesn't work is because when they were installing it, the program threw up a wonderful DNS error, and rather than fixing it... they ignore it and continue to install the program.

Three weeks later....

They finish setting it up, only to discover that they can't add LDAP users, or get out to the internet.... Or the program is really really slow.

So I tell them, "Mr. Customer, you need to fix your DNS. Now, understand that DNS is not my area of expertise. I deal purely with the program itself. The issue you are having is clearly a DNS issue, and we know this because <insert lengthy troubleshooting steps here> and your symptoms clearly show that YOU ARE HAVING A DNS ISSUE!. "

"But my DNS is perfect." They always say.

"WHAT!?!? There's no fricken way your DNS is perfect. During our troubleshooting you asked me how to find out what OS you have - you dummy." Oh... sorry... That was the dialog in my head. Not what I said to the customer. hee hee.

Now remember, like I've said before, these people make 2 to 3 times my salary. They are A-D-M-I-N-S and most went to school to get all those useless neat certificates to say how much more superior they are to me.

So then, then I have to go to DNSStuff.com (a neat place to check DNS) and prove to them that they are missing a PTR record, or an A record... or whatever is the case at that point.

Then they understand, and I suggest they call an actual expert, like Microsoft or something. Then they get all hot and bothered because no one wants to PAY for support. That's why they call us first. We're free.

Know what else? We don't troubleshoot DNS!

Labels: admin, call centers, dns, microsoft, question, questions, stupid, tech, technical, technical support