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I thought I'd run out of things to talk about here.  So I haven't been posting much.  Today I got a case via email that said this:

Customer:

Now I'm thinking... Really? You actually don't know what to do with this so you EMAIL me?? It tells you what to do. It tells you you need to renew your license, and gives you a link to go to to get that done. Now c'mon. Use your brain. You get paid twice as much as I do to do your job, the least you can do is read. Really. I mean... jeez.

Then on top of it all, you took the time to email me, which is FAR more difficult than clicking the link that was provided in the email you copy/pasted to me.

Labels: email, illiterate, reading, stupid

I got feedback today, for a customer I'd talked to that took issue with my answer to her question.

She originally called, saying that she'd recently installed some new MS patches, and since then she'd been having trouble with her system. Things were flowing slowly.

She had stopped our services, and suddenly the problem went away - but let's get this straight - she recently installed a ton of new patches.

I had asked her what patches she installed, but mentioned that this was most likely something she'd have to ask MS about. She didn't know what patches she'd gotten. There were too many of them. I told her that I would be happy to see if there were any issues with our software and her patches, but I needed to know what they were. She just didn't know.

I said, ok, well maybe something we're dependent on was changed while we were installed. A big no-no with our software. I offered up a couple things that would have made my program go haywire and do weird stuff.

She pin pointed one and said that she had indeed done an update to it. So I suggested that she reinstall our product so that we could reassociate with the latest changes.

I offered some other things we could do to troubleshoot, but she said that she couldn't do them right now, as she needed permission to do them.

So, uh, no troubleshooting? You're saying you called and expected me to press the magic button?? Lady, I can't pull an answer out of my butt with the information you gave me. You gave me nothing!

So I have her go off and do the uninstall/reinstall and suggested that if that doesn't work, she can get back in touch with me via email.

...

A few days pass and she calls back in, and gets the next guy in line. She lets him troubleshoot. They go back and forth a bit till he figures out what's wrong.

...

She then emailed a supervisor here, and said that she'd called MS and they charged her $500 bucks and it's all my fault because I was not listening to her.

...

No lady, I don't have the magic button. It's not my fault that I gave you that answer, seeing as you gave me the information I used to give you that answer. You don't want to troubleshoot? Then don't complain when I give you a lame answer and your issue is not resolved.

Labels: microsoft, MS, phone, phone support, question, questions, stupid, support, technical, technical support, vague, windows

I'll preface this by saying, I would love to work from home. It's always been my dream to be a freelance "something" like a web developer or something. I would love to set my own schedule and not have to deal with office politics or put on pants. You know, the fun stuff. I would like to advise any Admins out there who want to work from home, do so! We admire you for having that ability.

That being said... get an office (that locks) in your home or send the kids to daycare. If I hear screaming kids in the background and your phone gets cut off in the middle of our conversation I will not attempt to help you. I will tell you whatever you want to hear to get you off the damn phone.

Be reasonable will you? I can't troubleshoot with you if I have to call you back ten times, or if your computer gets turned off by a rambunctious 2 year old. I don't appreciate having to yell to be heard, and let's face it, what person wants to sit by and listen to some poor kid get yelled at or spanked on a BUSINESS phone call?

Keep home separate from work PLEASE.

Labels: advice, baby, call centers, calling, kids, phone, phone support, stupid, support, tech, technical, technical support

My customer called me today, because something he has set up is doing what it's supposed to be doing and he doesn't like that. He had set his system to alert him whenever it got to a certain threshold, and then delete the oldest item when the threshold was met. He didn't like the alerts, because it was freaking out his client. lol

I explained to the customer that this is expected behavior, but he didn't believe me. He wanted me to go through all of his settings to make sure they were set up correctly.

We looked at his settings, in this case it was a threshold, it had...

...these three things:

Number of items:
1500
1000
500

Maximum size: KBMB

How long to keep?
90
60
30 days.

... and he wanted me to explain what these values mean. What do you think these values mean?? I thought it was pretty obvious.
So, I explained it all to him including the other options on the page, and he still didn't completely get it.

Labels: calling, changes, questions, stupid, support, tech, technical, technical support

This morning was a fun morning. I had two calls in a row where I talked to some not so smart people. So today is an instruction lesson. Now, if you get paid more than $60,000 a year to work on a computer, you'd think that you'd know one of the basics of administering said system.



This is how you get to the management console in Windows:

1. Right-click on My Computer
2. Select Manage from the list.

Yay!! That's it. You're there.

Now, here's two ways to find the Services console->

First way:
1. Follow instructions above to get to the management console.
2. Expand "Services and Applications"
(* Left click on the little (+)Plus symbol to it's left to expand)
3. Click Services in the list.

Second way:
1. Click Start -> Run
2. Type Services.msc in the Run window.
3. Hit ENTER or OK

Tada! Now was that so hard?? How could you not know how to do this if you work on computers every day? Well, no more excuses. Now you know.

Labels: admin, how to, instructions, lesson, management console, services.msc, stupid, windows

In case I forget to post before then, I just had to get that out... Now on to today's story:

Frequently I get called because someone isn't able to use their proxy. (We have a proxy that a lot of people use.) Most commonly, the reason it doesn't work is because when they were installing it, the program threw up a wonderful DNS error, and rather than fixing it... they ignore it and continue to install the program.

Three weeks later....

They finish setting it up, only to discover that they can't add LDAP users, or get out to the internet.... Or the program is really really slow.

So I tell them, "Mr. Customer, you need to fix your DNS. Now, understand that DNS is not my area of expertise. I deal purely with the program itself. The issue you are having is clearly a DNS issue, and we know this because <insert lengthy troubleshooting steps here> and your symptoms clearly show that YOU ARE HAVING A DNS ISSUE!. "

"But my DNS is perfect." They always say.

"WHAT!?!? There's no fricken way your DNS is perfect. During our troubleshooting you asked me how to find out what OS you have - you dummy." Oh... sorry... That was the dialog in my head. Not what I said to the customer. hee hee.

Now remember, like I've said before, these people make 2 to 3 times my salary. They are A-D-M-I-N-S and most went to school to get all those useless neat certificates to say how much more superior they are to me.

So then, then I have to go to DNSStuff.com (a neat place to check DNS) and prove to them that they are missing a PTR record, or an A record... or whatever is the case at that point.

Then they understand, and I suggest they call an actual expert, like Microsoft or something. Then they get all hot and bothered because no one wants to PAY for support. That's why they call us first. We're free.

Know what else? We don't troubleshoot DNS!

Labels: admin, call centers, dns, microsoft, question, questions, stupid, tech, technical, technical support

Today is the day that I address the problem of being vague.



I'm going to try to use examples, but because I don't want to reveal actual people, I'm going to replace parts of the examples with something else. For this one I'm going to use a VCR and TV.


Customer: "I would like to configure my TV, my remote, and my VCR."
Me: "Ok Mr. Customer, what would you like to configure it to do?"
Customer: "Well, I currently have my remote in my hand, and my TV is on."
Me: "Well, Mr. Customer, did you have a question regarding the remote? "
Customer: "I've turned my tv on, and I want to change my settings on my VCR to make my TV blink. I also want my recordings to be taped on certain days. I'd like my TV to do that."
Me: "Mr. Customer, these two items are not related in that way. You are able to change settings on the TV if you would like to make it blink. The settings for the tapings need to be changed on the VCR."
Customer: "But that's not what the VCR tech told me!"
Me: "I'm sorry Mr. Customer, but the VCR is what determines the times that tapings get done."
The customer, irate at this point requests to talk to another person. He doesn't feel that I've given him the correct information, and swears the programs are related to eachother.
Me: "Ok, I can transfer you back into the queue if you'd like, but there's a possiblity that you may get me again."
Customer: "Fine. I just don't think you're understanding me."
So I transferred him.

--end--


So, this customer didn't really know what he wanted or what to ask for. This is an example of being vague. This is also an example of not-knowing-what-you-want-itis. On a side note, the calls I take are from network administrators. These folks should already know how frustrating it is to get a call or email from someone asking for something that means nothing, or calling for help and never saying what they want.

I've had at least three people call me with vague-itis today. When you don't know what you want, you frustrate the person you're calling to for help. You won't get anything taken care of. If you want to talk to a technician, make a list. Make a list before you call! Decide what questions you'd like to ask. Determine what direction you'd like to go. Read the documentation that comes with your item and use that as a spring board to get what you want.

Just remember, we really do want to help you get what you want if its within our power to achieve. We just want to know what it is!

Labels: listen, phone, phone support, question, questions, stupid, support, tech, technical, technical support, vague