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Everyday I get someone who asks me to make a recommendation on what they should do with their software. They don't like making their own choices. Basically they want the program to do everything they need it to do out of the box or they want to call up and have us tell them exactly what to click.

This is a lot like going to a store and expecting the cashier to tell you what you should buy. Especially after all you've told them is that you have a three-bedroom house and a car. So, ok, the cashier figures you should buy some wool carpets, and maybe a couch? So you the customer dutifully go off and put those things in your cart and take them home.

... when you get home you realize that you already have a couch! And upon carrying in the rug you find that you are allergic to wool and now you're itching all over.

Now, you are an unhappy customer and you go back to the store and complain to the cashier's manager that you bought these things, one you didn't need and the other that caused you problems, and it's the cashier's fault for telling you to buy these things.

Yeah, right.

Don't get me wrong. I have no problem guiding someone in how to use the program. I also am happy to tell them how to do a specific action they want, when they don't know how. Using my previous example, in which I am the cashier...

Customer: I want to be able to put drinks and my tv remote on something in my living room.
Me: Ok, the purchase you need to make for what you are asking for would typically be a coffee table. Do you have room for a coffee table?
Customer: I think I do.
Me: Ok, you go to department 5 to get the coffee table. When you get it home, make sure you set it on it's legs.
Customer: Thanks, that's all I needed.

See? See how easy that is? The customer told me what he wanted and I told him how to get it!

The things you as a customer need to know before you ask me these kinds of questions:

1. What is my environment like? (In the case of computers this means... how much RAM do I have? What kind of CPU do I have? Do I have other software running on this machine?)
2. What do I want this software to do?
3. Am I prepared to work? (Meaning, at the computer and without other distractions)

So, Mr. Admin, call support! But don't ask them to make up your policies for you or do all your work! That's what you get paid for!!

Labels: admin, advice, phone, phone support, question, questions, ram, requirements, software, support, system, technical, technical support

I started this blog as a place to vent my frustration with my customers. People who should know how to do everything I do and then some and often do not. I think I'm going to add a series of "How to's" because, well, maybe they don't know these things because they couldn't find them. I've already done one - how to find your Windows Management console and the Services console.

Today I'm going to add another one. This is less of a "How to" and more of a why.

(Get to the point...skip the story)

In the world of software, there has come to be a misunderstanding when products are labeled. If you look on the side/bottom/back of a box for a game or other software you'll see the system requirements. It will advise you that you need x amount of RAM.
As an example: I have the game Guild Wars, and it's system requirement is 512 MB RAM. What this means is that the game requires 512 MB of RAM free. Not total.

When I'm running this game, pretty much everything else is out of the question, because it uses so much of my RAM. I have 512 MB. (I'm getting more SOON) Luckily for me, Windows is usually pretty smart, and keeps enough for itself so that it doesn't crash, and I have a swap file that covers alot too. (I may explain swap files later, who knows...lol ) So overall, the game runs pretty well, but often lags and takes a long long time to load.

As I mentioned before, I do technical support for some mail scanning software, and this mail scanning software requires 1 gig of RAM. If your system doesn't have enough RAM, this mail scanning software will take it. Unfortunately for all other software on the system, except Windows, that means that it could potentially crash your system.

Seeing as most of these systems (well, lets be real here... ALL these systems) are mail servers, the system crashing would be a bad thing.

What these admins need to know is... if you have Program A that requires 1 gig, and Program B that requires 512 mb and Program C that requires 512 - 1 gig (depending on the usage) you should have 1 gig + 512 mb + 1 gig = 2.5 gigs just for the software + 512 (at least) for the Operating system -- All in all this comes to 3 gigs.

If you didn't have 3 gigs in this situation, and these programs are all running at the same time, your system will flop. End of story.

For a normal consumer this isn't a big deal, because they don't tend to run multiple programs at once all the time. On a server, however... well, I think you can see what I'm getting at here.

The moral of the story is:
The amount of RAM required on the outside of the box is the MINIMUM required just to run that program and no other.
The amount of RAM required on the outside of the box is the amount that you must have FREE in order to use it.

Labels: 1 gig, 512 mb, admin, advice, help, how to, mail software, microsoft, ram, requirements, system

This morning was a fun morning. I had two calls in a row where I talked to some not so smart people. So today is an instruction lesson. Now, if you get paid more than $60,000 a year to work on a computer, you'd think that you'd know one of the basics of administering said system.



This is how you get to the management console in Windows:

1. Right-click on My Computer
2. Select Manage from the list.

Yay!! That's it. You're there.

Now, here's two ways to find the Services console->

First way:
1. Follow instructions above to get to the management console.
2. Expand "Services and Applications"
(* Left click on the little (+)Plus symbol to it's left to expand)
3. Click Services in the list.

Second way:
1. Click Start -> Run
2. Type Services.msc in the Run window.
3. Hit ENTER or OK

Tada! Now was that so hard?? How could you not know how to do this if you work on computers every day? Well, no more excuses. Now you know.

Labels: admin, how to, instructions, lesson, management console, services.msc, stupid, windows

In case I forget to post before then, I just had to get that out... Now on to today's story:

Frequently I get called because someone isn't able to use their proxy. (We have a proxy that a lot of people use.) Most commonly, the reason it doesn't work is because when they were installing it, the program threw up a wonderful DNS error, and rather than fixing it... they ignore it and continue to install the program.

Three weeks later....

They finish setting it up, only to discover that they can't add LDAP users, or get out to the internet.... Or the program is really really slow.

So I tell them, "Mr. Customer, you need to fix your DNS. Now, understand that DNS is not my area of expertise. I deal purely with the program itself. The issue you are having is clearly a DNS issue, and we know this because <insert lengthy troubleshooting steps here> and your symptoms clearly show that YOU ARE HAVING A DNS ISSUE!. "

"But my DNS is perfect." They always say.

"WHAT!?!? There's no fricken way your DNS is perfect. During our troubleshooting you asked me how to find out what OS you have - you dummy." Oh... sorry... That was the dialog in my head. Not what I said to the customer. hee hee.

Now remember, like I've said before, these people make 2 to 3 times my salary. They are A-D-M-I-N-S and most went to school to get all those useless neat certificates to say how much more superior they are to me.

So then, then I have to go to DNSStuff.com (a neat place to check DNS) and prove to them that they are missing a PTR record, or an A record... or whatever is the case at that point.

Then they understand, and I suggest they call an actual expert, like Microsoft or something. Then they get all hot and bothered because no one wants to PAY for support. That's why they call us first. We're free.

Know what else? We don't troubleshoot DNS!

Labels: admin, call centers, dns, microsoft, question, questions, stupid, tech, technical, technical support

Everyday I have someone who calls and asks me something so inane I can hardly believe they are calling me. In every piece of software I've ever worked with there is always some sort of documentation that comes with the software that explains how to use it.


Almost always in plain english, all you need to do is follow the instructions. Still, some folks out there won't be able to follow the directions, either because they don't know enough about their operating system (OS) or because they just don't want to. The first of which I can tolerate, but the second..... well, lets just say they should just return the product.


When calling technical support, or heck, lets be crazy... ANY kind of phone support for a piece of software, a device, or even your lawnmower, show that you have some sense, and at least skim through the manual in an attempt to find your answer. If there's a webpage for the company, search there. If there is a forum or bulletin board, search there. The last one is very helpful, in almost all cases, someone else has already asked this question. All of these solutions, even doing all of them in consecutive order will save you umpteen hours of waiting on hold.


So please, save yourself from frustration, and don't call a phone support rep to find out how to do the average normal settings that are in your users' manual. The only exception to this rule, is that you've lost the book, and need a new copy. We are happy to provide these.


That's my rant for today. Have a good weekend!

Labels: admin, advice, help, how to, instructions, questions, software, support, system, technical, technical support